The Sky is Falling

Ok so of the 400 things in my apartment that need to be fixed the landlord has been insisting for months that he is going to have the roof redone. Fine, great we need it. But of course we didn't believe him because his last project, the aluminum siding, took him a year and a half. We low and behold today, the one day that I have a late shift at work and can sleep in, the roofers show up at 7:00am. There are about 12 of them all on the roof scraping and hammering and drilling and who the hell know what else. Since sleep was out of the question I got up and did the laundry and had breakfast. I figure then that it's a good time to take a shower. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to shower with strange men outside your bathroom window. Granted, we have blinds in the window so you can't really see in and I'm sure they have better things to do but it is still uncomfortable. So I went with the speed shower and I don't think I got all of the conditioner out of my hair and put my jeans on while I was still dripping wet. You see, of course, the ladders were all around the house and I could see the guys walking up and down the ladders all morning which means they could also see in so getting dressed in the privacy of my own room was out of the question.

Finally dressed and ready to relax I sat down to watch some t.v. as a had a few hours left to kill before work. All of a sudden I felt something hit me in the head. I looked around and didn't see anything and figured it must have been the cat or something. A few minutes later I feel something pelt me in the leg. This time I look down and see a huge nail on the floor. Then another. I look up and realize that the nails are coming out of the ceiling. The guys outside are banging so hard they are knocking all the nails out of the sheet rock or what ever it is up there. Now I am frantic because we things hanging on the walls and all kinds of crap on the dresser and stuff. While I am trying to move the majority of the breakables I hear this crackling sound. I look up and see that part of the ceiling is about to fall. With my cat like reflexes I run over and put my hands up just in time to catch the panel. Of course it didn't break all the way it is still partially attached to the ceiling and It's to big for me to try to pull of so it is lying across the bed and resting against the floor. There are chunks of ceiling all over the bed, floor and rest of the room. What a fiasco. I finally had to leave for work praying the whole way there that the rest of the ceiling remains intact until c. or I gets home.

I think now is a good time to also mention that:

• every time someone takes a shower the kitchen ceiling leaks


• the kitchen cabinets are falling off the walls in addition to the ceiling tiles falling in


• the oven door doesn't close all the way so the wood on either side is charred from the heat and there is no temperature dial (it melted from the heat because the door doesn't close) so you don't really know what temperature you're cooking at


• the freezer ices over and just keeps building and the freezer space gets smaller and smaller every once in a while when we defrost the freezer we find something in the abyss of ice


• Ice forms around the cooling rods in the refrigerator and then defrosts pretty much daily leaving a puddle of about 3 inches of water at the bottom of the fridge under the drawers. As you can imagine, if a day or 2 goes by and I don't get a change to empty it out, well, stagnant water in the fridge, enough said.


• We still have a cesspool (because the landlord is to cheap to get a sewer installed)which fills up and makes a nice bubbling pool of crap in the middle of the yard.

Sometimes I fell like I am living in the house from The Money Pit I can't wait to get home and see what condition the house is in, if it is still standing, that is.