Blog interrupted

I am rapidly realizing that it is very difficult to maintain a blog when you are in a relationship with someone who does not own a computer. As I spend the majority of my time at his house, hence I am computer deprived and find that, once he has drifted off to sleep I lie awake and try to contrive a plan that would allow me to quickly return home, e-mail, blog and what have you and return to his side without him noticing that I have been gone. Although he is a sound sleeper he always seems to wake up the second I leave the bed. Drat, Foiled again!!

I had the unfortunate experience of attending a wake on Saturday night. J.D.'s father passed away and though I did not know him well (I had only met him once) It was apparent by the turnout at the funeral home he was a well loved man. I actually felt better seeing all of those people and I think it also helped J.D. to see that others recognized the caliber person his father was. A wake is such an awkward event. I spentmost of the evening tring to avoid eye contact with J.D. because I did't know what to say or even what expresion to show. Do I smile and seem insensitive to the situation. Looking forelorn might only add to his stress. I am impressed with how he handled himself in a very difficult situation. He maintained his composure, greeted friends, reletives and people he had never met before which I think really helped his mom. C.A. was even more uncomfortable than I was and J.D. is his roomate. He sat on the couch so rigid and expressionless. He has a difficult time with emotion. But, at least he was there to support his friend. The funeral was this morning. Unfortunately I was unable to attend. I hope J.D. had enough support to make it through the day. Things are going to be difficult for him for a long time. He was very close to his father.

What do you say to someone who has lost a parent. I can even begin to comprehend what he must be going through. I wanted so desperately to offer some great words of wisdom as I have lost people vey close to me, but there are none. It sucks, and it hurts and the hurst doesn't go away, ever. Yes in time the pain eases and you learn how to make it through each day, but how can you explain that to someone and expect it to make them feel better. It is such a helpless feeling, to see some one in pain and know there is nothing that you can do. Time. It sound cliche, but it the truth. Time heals all wounds. Sure it may heal but it still leaves scars thet never go away.