Blog of Faith

It's funny how the world works sometimes. I have 4 cousins who were pregnant and all due in succession from June to September. The first three had a myriad of problems during the pregnancies but had beautiful healthy children. The 4th of these cousins, the healthiest of all, who followed all of the doctors orders and never had a single problem or complaint, had a stillbirth. As you can image the family was devastated. This sparked a discussion with my mom about "God" and faith.

My mom has always been a very religious person and had a strong faith. I on the other hand have always questioned my faith and I don't believe in "God", conventionally that is. I don't believe in any kind of organized religion but I also recognize that it is pretty naive to think that there is no existence of an omnipotent force or "higher power " as some people refer to it. In light of recent events my mom has really been questioning her faith. She is having a hard time justifying or reasoning how "God" could take a child, especially from someone like j.f. She is angry and hurt and is directing that anger towards "God". This is where our discussion became slightly heated.

I believe strongly in the theory of metaphysics. It is fairly complicated and would take to long to explain all at once. For anyone who is interested Richard Matheson wrote an incredible book that explains metaphysics in a condensed and simple way. Its calledThe Path If you get the chance check it out. Anyway, part of this theory is the belief that everything happens for a reason. I don't think that our lives are predestined because we do, after all, have free will but I do think that there is a reason for every experience we have in our lives. While we may not always be capable of recognizing the reason, there is one. Now of course my mothers first question was "So, tell me why this happened. What is the reason for it.?" This was my explanation, in short.

Of course when tragedy plagues us, we are not capable of recognizing that there could be a reason for the event. Our grief and despair consume us. This is part of the process. You grieve, you deal, you accept and you begin to heal. This healing process can take days, months, years or a lifetime. We are not always meant to know why things happen when they happen because we are not always prepared or willing to accept answers. All things are revealed in their own time. We then have the choice to do with that information what we will. We can learn form it and grow as a person or we can choose to ignore it. Now this is where things can get tricky. Events can effect different people in many different ways, and while something may seem pointless to you can be a life-altering event for someone else. Not everything is meant to have a meaning for everyone, but is meant to have a meaning for someone.

Well my mom and a lot of other people have a hard time accepting this theory (which I have overly simplified in this example. there is so much more involved) . I understand that because it is had to wrap your mind around. But during this whole argument I realized something. While not conventional, I have a stronger faith than my mother who has been a church going catholic for her whole life. There is nothing that she or anyone else could possibly say that would change my belief that everything happens for a reason, because I have faith. Figure that out.

Now I am sure that some people would say that I must never have had anything really bad or tragic happen in my life to think this way. Quite the contrary. I have experience more in my 28 years than most people will in a lifetime. I have lost family, friends, and acquaintances by natural causes, their own hand, and through tragic events. Being a New Yorker I was effected immensely by the events of September 11th. The only reason I can give as to how I have survived it all and still maintain my sanity and can still function as an active member of society...My Faith. And all this time I didn't think I had any.

The Makeover Blog

Well I have returned from the great beyond. Things have not gone exactly according to my plan but I guess you have to roll with the punches. My current living arrangement is, how can I put it delicately, less than desirable. We are making due with the roommates from hell, but unfortunately space issues or lack of space I should say, have prevented me from setting up my computer. I will have to abuse my privileges at work to maintain this blog. We'll just call it a bonus. I have earned it.

As you can see, not only my address has changed but so has my template. This is a little more my style. Hopefully there will be plenty to read from now on as my life has become somewhat more eventful. Until next time....