Fun for Women of all Ages

I am listening to the radio the other morning, Z-100, and they were talking about the Harry Potter Nimbus 2000 BroomWhile this looks like your ordinary boring toy, it has a feature that has parents. mothers of your girls especially, up in arms. The broom vibrates. Need I say more. Apparently there is a petition going around that parents are planning to send to Mattel to get the product recalled or at least to prevent them from making more. What is the world coming to. Where in the world are these girls getting the idea to use the broom for purposes other than intended. And if girls between the ages of 6-12 are figuring out other recreational uses for the thing, don't you think at least one of the mature minded employees at Mattel, even if only joking, though about it.

Lets face it. Society today is considerably more perverse than it was even 10-15 years ago. Look at what they have done to the Disney movies. People claim to have heard subliminal messages in Aladdin & the Lion King, as well as seen phallic symbols in the Little Mermaid. Check out this site that has a pretty comprehensive list of current Urban Legends The topic of sex or sexuality is such a taboo, it has become that much more intriguing to today's youth. While I believe that there is a time and place for everything, and that includes educating children about the finer points in life, we can't hide from these discussions. We don't give children the credit they are due. We seem to think that children are incapable of understanding certain situations and that somehow, as they age, they miraculously develop into educated and well adjusted young adults. Think about it for a second. Where are they supposed to learn coping skills. What is the right age to start discussing things like sex, death, pregnancy. Back to the topic of the Disney Stories, these fairy tales were ripped off from The Brothers Grimm and Hans Christian Anderson They weren't these candy coated, always happy ending stories you see today. The stories were originally created to educate children, to teach them life lessons through storytelling. Read a few of those good old fairy tales and you'll see what I mean. I think that to some degree our attempts to protect are children from the world, sometimes also prevent them from having essential experiences that help to mold them into, self confident adults.

Let me give you a perfect example. When I was growing up, my mother wanted to shelter us from every bad experience and impropriety in the world. This included TV and in the movies. Cable TV was the devil and forbidden in our home. We didn't get to go to the movies very often, and when we rented them. my mother would fast forward any kissing scenes. Years later I would see movies on TV and realize I had missed half the story because my mom didn't want us to see to people kissing. One of the worst experiences was when the movie Dirty Dancing came out. My mother refused to let me see the movie strictly because of the title. Now while she was very affectionate with her children, it was inappropriate to be affectionate with a man outside the bedroom. What made things more confusing was we were also not allowed to know what went on in the bedroom. We were never taught about physical relationships and intimacy. Now I was raised in a traditional conservative family. You waited until you were married to have sex, and it wasn't sex it was making love, yada yada. Of course there is nothing wrong with this theory, however it is not always practical.

Well fastforward to adulthood and my dysfunctional relationships because you can't hit the fastforward button to avoid kissing scenes in real life and I was so uncomfortable in intimate situations and with myself. Thank goodness for college, which is not always for a textbook education. I had my share of embarrassing hook ups and sweet intimacies and found that comfort zone. My point is however, because I was not taught about these things my only reference was movie relationships or the twisted and dysfunctional relationships of friends. Well how disappointing to find out that true love doesn't always ride up on a white horse with a dozen roses and embody perfection.

I have learned that real life is hard work but well worth it. Although sometimes I wish that I had had a more open relationship with my parents and been able to ask questions about love and relationships and sex. One thing I can say to my parents credit, I may not have waited until I was married, but I was much older and wiser and grateful that I waited for my first time. I was in a committed relationship, deeply in love and it was a beautiful experience. But I digress as usual.

Children would be able to play with a silly toy without causing controversy if we were more comfortable discussing with our children things that are and are not appropriate. Boy it took an awful long time to get to the point. The soapbox is retired for today. Y'all come back now as I am sure I will find plenty o' topics to preach about tomorrow.

The Make-Up and a Migraine

Well c. and I had a long talk and I think he understands where I am coming from. He admitted he should never have said he would be home because he knew he wouldn't. He just wanted to lessen his own guilt. It feels really nice to know that I can talk to him about how I am feeling or when I am frustrated and we don't have to argue about it. We lay everything out on the table talk about it and then let it go. Now don't get me wrong, I am sure we will have this conversation again because, he is not perfect and he will do it again, but he is coming around. Little by little he is realizing that being in a relationship does not mean that you have to give up your friends or your freedom. You do however need to remember that the decisions you make also now effect another person.

I have had the worst migraine for the past 3 days. It has gotten so bad that my vision is blurry and I am so nauseous. I don't think many people can sympathized when I say I have a headache. They don't realize that I live with this every day of my life and when I say my head hurts it doesn't mean I have an annoying headache, like the kind you get when you drank a little to much the night before or when you haven't eaten all day, that's normal for me, I mean that I am in a considerable amount of pain. It is physically and emotionally draining. I have tried medication but to no avail. It is difficult on top of all of my sinus, allergy, asthma crap that I have to take daily. I would just be nice to feel really good for a day or two in a row. I can always hope...

Random acts of Insensitivity

Do they pull young men aside in school and give them a class on how to be an insensitive jerk? I think they do. Women get the class on menstruation and men get the class on how to be a dick and accept zero responsibility for your actions. The weekend actually started of pretty nice. I was home cooking dinner (eggplant parmesan and pasta) and c. came home early form work. He decided to get the laundry done while I was finishing dinner so we wouldn't have to worry about it the rest if the weekend. How sweet right. So he went to the Laundromat and ran a bunch of errands while the clothes were drying so we could spend the rest of the evening together. So we ate and then he fell asleep. How romantic. In his defense he did have to work Saturday morning.

Saturday morning he got up and was off to work by 7:00am. I figured I might as well get up and start my day so all of my chores would be done by the evening. I ended up stopping over at my mothers house because she wasn't feeling well and brought her some of the leftover chicken parm and we sat and hung out for the afternoon. By 5:30 I headed home figuring I would call c. to find out how his day at work was going and what his plan was for the evening. Turns out his brother called and they went out to dinner and were heading back to m's house to hang out. c. insisted he was tired and would be home fairly soon.

Aside
At this point I hung up the phone and thought. O.K. I am on my own for the evening. c & m are going to be hanging out all night and he will stumble in, in the wee hours of the morning. I figured this was a good time for me to finish White Oleander This is an amazing book by Janet Fitch which they have recently turned into a movie. Anyway, I curl up with my book and wait for the phone call from c. telling me that he won't be home till late.

Well around 8:30 the phone rings and guess who it is. You guessed it. So he tells me that they stopped on the way to m's house a got a 12 pack of beer and he though he would be responsible and not drive home. He was spending the night. He felt just awful leaving me alone on a Saturday night, but not to worry because we had all day Sunday to spend together. Of course he is well aware that I spend every Sunday at my elderly Grandmothers house. Not only is he aware of this but he also knows how important and special this time is for me. My Grams is getting older and her memory is not what it used to be. She is forgetting a lot of things so I want to spend as much time as I can with her while she is still coherent. So c. promises that he will be home early and we will go to Grams's house together and then spend the evening together.

My retort was more of a request to c. that he not make any promises because if and when he broke his promise I would be pissed. While I know in his heart and mind he really did want to come home and spend the day with me and the intention was there, I knew full well he would stay up half the night with m and be to tired and hung over to come home. So I tell him this and he insists that he is tired and won't be staying up to much longer. There is no problem being home by 9:00am. He'll be there don't worry.

So, I hang up the phone and the knot in my stomach begins to tighten. Please, Please, Please do not let me down. Well as expected 10:00 came and went and no c. and no phone call that he was on his way. So I went to Grams and of course she asks where he is. Why I feel the need to cover up for him I don't know. Actually I don't have the heart to tell my Grams sorry, c. is to tired & hung over and you are just not important enough for him to drag his sorry ass out of bed for. The worst part is he ruined my day and I don't understand why I allow him to do that. I already knew he wouldn't be there but it hurt anyway.

Well 1:00 rolls around and my cell phone rings. He is finally home and poor thing is just to tired and he feels like crap. Does he really think I am going to fell bad that he feels like crap. He didn't even apologize. He makes me so mad. I know that this isn't the biggest thing in the world but it pisses me off that he expects me to drop everything when he wants me to go somewhere with him but when the tables are turned he can blow me off so easily and not even fell bad about it. When I finally got home Sunday he was sleeping so I couldn't even talk to him about it. I don't want to fight, I just want him to understand how disappointed and hurt I am. Of course I couldn't start a conversation this morning before work so it is still unresolved. Now It will be a fight because c. knows I am upset and it is going to fester all day.

We spend so little time together as it is, I don't want to spend it fighting. I don't ever complain about the long hours he works, or the times he wants to spend with his friends and I don't ask for much. Just show me the same common courtesy I show you. Don't make promises you can't keep and accept ressponsibility for your acctions. Apologize when you know you you were wrong. I don't think that is to much to ask. I don't know, maybe I am wrong.