Random acts of Insensitivity

Do they pull young men aside in school and give them a class on how to be an insensitive jerk? I think they do. Women get the class on menstruation and men get the class on how to be a dick and accept zero responsibility for your actions. The weekend actually started of pretty nice. I was home cooking dinner (eggplant parmesan and pasta) and c. came home early form work. He decided to get the laundry done while I was finishing dinner so we wouldn't have to worry about it the rest if the weekend. How sweet right. So he went to the Laundromat and ran a bunch of errands while the clothes were drying so we could spend the rest of the evening together. So we ate and then he fell asleep. How romantic. In his defense he did have to work Saturday morning.

Saturday morning he got up and was off to work by 7:00am. I figured I might as well get up and start my day so all of my chores would be done by the evening. I ended up stopping over at my mothers house because she wasn't feeling well and brought her some of the leftover chicken parm and we sat and hung out for the afternoon. By 5:30 I headed home figuring I would call c. to find out how his day at work was going and what his plan was for the evening. Turns out his brother called and they went out to dinner and were heading back to m's house to hang out. c. insisted he was tired and would be home fairly soon.

Aside
At this point I hung up the phone and thought. O.K. I am on my own for the evening. c & m are going to be hanging out all night and he will stumble in, in the wee hours of the morning. I figured this was a good time for me to finish White Oleander This is an amazing book by Janet Fitch which they have recently turned into a movie. Anyway, I curl up with my book and wait for the phone call from c. telling me that he won't be home till late.

Well around 8:30 the phone rings and guess who it is. You guessed it. So he tells me that they stopped on the way to m's house a got a 12 pack of beer and he though he would be responsible and not drive home. He was spending the night. He felt just awful leaving me alone on a Saturday night, but not to worry because we had all day Sunday to spend together. Of course he is well aware that I spend every Sunday at my elderly Grandmothers house. Not only is he aware of this but he also knows how important and special this time is for me. My Grams is getting older and her memory is not what it used to be. She is forgetting a lot of things so I want to spend as much time as I can with her while she is still coherent. So c. promises that he will be home early and we will go to Grams's house together and then spend the evening together.

My retort was more of a request to c. that he not make any promises because if and when he broke his promise I would be pissed. While I know in his heart and mind he really did want to come home and spend the day with me and the intention was there, I knew full well he would stay up half the night with m and be to tired and hung over to come home. So I tell him this and he insists that he is tired and won't be staying up to much longer. There is no problem being home by 9:00am. He'll be there don't worry.

So, I hang up the phone and the knot in my stomach begins to tighten. Please, Please, Please do not let me down. Well as expected 10:00 came and went and no c. and no phone call that he was on his way. So I went to Grams and of course she asks where he is. Why I feel the need to cover up for him I don't know. Actually I don't have the heart to tell my Grams sorry, c. is to tired & hung over and you are just not important enough for him to drag his sorry ass out of bed for. The worst part is he ruined my day and I don't understand why I allow him to do that. I already knew he wouldn't be there but it hurt anyway.

Well 1:00 rolls around and my cell phone rings. He is finally home and poor thing is just to tired and he feels like crap. Does he really think I am going to fell bad that he feels like crap. He didn't even apologize. He makes me so mad. I know that this isn't the biggest thing in the world but it pisses me off that he expects me to drop everything when he wants me to go somewhere with him but when the tables are turned he can blow me off so easily and not even fell bad about it. When I finally got home Sunday he was sleeping so I couldn't even talk to him about it. I don't want to fight, I just want him to understand how disappointed and hurt I am. Of course I couldn't start a conversation this morning before work so it is still unresolved. Now It will be a fight because c. knows I am upset and it is going to fester all day.

We spend so little time together as it is, I don't want to spend it fighting. I don't ever complain about the long hours he works, or the times he wants to spend with his friends and I don't ask for much. Just show me the same common courtesy I show you. Don't make promises you can't keep and accept ressponsibility for your acctions. Apologize when you know you you were wrong. I don't think that is to much to ask. I don't know, maybe I am wrong.