Wishful Thinking

I applied for a new job. Same company, different department. This was a tough decision for me, although I haven't gotten the job yet, because the current department I work in is my baby. m.s. and I created this department from nothing, or almost nothing. Others have been involved but essentially it was the two of us over a period of a couple of years. We put our hearts and souls into the project at the start. We were naive and ambitious and new the potential for this job. The company on the other hand did not favor our ideals and expectation for the future. Well 4 years later I think it has finally sunk in that things are not going to change, at least not for the better. We are so limited in our abilities to change anything and we are consistently forgotten or ignored when it comes to planning, forecasting or implementing changes. We are told after the fact how things are going to be. I am done with the bureaucracy and excuses.

I am more than qualified for the new position so it is just a matter of who else has applied and how well the interview goes. I am on excellent terms with the Supervisor of the new department and have worked on special projects for her in the past in addition to projects for other members of the department. My only concern is that a supervisor from our LA office, which closed recently, has also applied. We each have our own strengths. She has dealt more with customer complaints on the telephone but I have cornered the market on e-mail correspondence and website knowledge. I have also trained in several other department so I am fairly well rounded. I am trying to rationalize things so I am not to disappointed if I don't get the position.

Its not that I don't still love what I do. I enjoy many aspects of my job but the company has not and will not validate the department which I believe is a terrible mistake but I can't convince management of that fact. Anywho, I won't be devastated because I have a job I still enjoy to fall back on but I really do want this new position. It is a new and challenging opportunity that I think would be good for me.

Either way my resume is getting a touch up and I am still looking elsewhere because in my current position; zero job security. The hard part is I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Hey, Who really does?